Finding Your Way Back To Who You Are After Kids

Hi everyone,

There’s this unspoken moment that happens sometime after the baby years. After the blur of sleepless nights and sticky fingers and the constant, never-pausing hum of giving-giving-giving. You pause. You glance in the mirror. And something catches. Not in a bad way. Just… unfamiliar. Like, who even am I anymore? If that sounds like you, breathe. You’re not broken. You’re not lost. You’ve just been busy—deep in the trenches of motherhood. Here are some things to consider on your journey to find yourself.

Start Small, Dream Big

You don’t have to overhaul your life to feel like you again. In fact, please don’t. That kind of pressure? Not helpful. Instead, think micro-moments. Did you used to write poems late at night? Was baking your therapy? Did solo drives with loud music fill your lungs with air? Take that one thing and just—do it. No overthinking. No making it a “thing.” Just begin. Because when you start showing up for yourself in small ways, the bigger ones follow without force.

Redefine, Don’t Rewind

There’s a temptation to try and claw your way back to the pre-kid version of you, like she’s frozen in time waiting. But you’re not her anymore—and that’s not a bad thing. You’re wiser now. A little tougher. A lot more resilient. Maybe even a touch softer in places that used to be sharp. So don’t look back with longing. Look forward with curiosity. Who are you now that you’ve stretched in every direction? This next version of you could be your favorite one yet.

Reclaim Your Reflection

Sometimes, it’s not even deep. You just want to feel good in your own skin again. And that’s allowed. Whether it’s investing in clothes that actually fit, cutting your hair because you want a fresh start, or even looking into something like a mommy makeover—whatever helps you feel like you, that’s valid. Not because you’re trying to erase motherhood from your body or face. But because you’re honoring the woman living in it. You deserve to see someone familiar in the mirror.

Build Boundaries With Love

Moms are the default everything. Keeper of schedules. Maker of snacks. The one who remembers the birthday party and also where everyone’s left shoe is. But somewhere in the mix, the line between giving and disappearing gets blurry. So draw it. Kindly, firmly. And not to keep people out, but to keep you in. Wanting space doesn’t mean you love your kids any less. It just means you’re human, and your soul needs air, too.

Rediscover Joy In Connection

Motherhood can be isolating in the strangest ways. You’re surrounded by people 24/7 and still somehow feel unseen. Try texting that friend you haven’t talked to in months, even if the last message ended in “Let’s catch up soon!” and it’s been a year. Reaching out is awkward sometimes. Do it anyway. Or find new people who get it—people in the same boat, paddling toward themselves again. Real connection reminds you that you’re not the only one wondering who she is now.

You never really lost yourself. You just tucked parts of you away while you were busy loving everyone else. And now you’re ready to unfold again, piece by piece, in your own time. You’re not going back. You’re moving forward—with history, with depth, and with a self that’s more whole than ever.

Thanks for stopping by,

Xo,