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The 4Rs of Self-Forgiveness

February 27, 2022 by Moumous |

Hi everyone,

I hope you are doing fine. I am doing ok, a little overwhelmed as I am trying to monetize the blog and everything and I’m still struggling to get my head around how things work here on this new platform. But hey, I will get to the bottom of it. Soon. Anyway, today I had some style tips but I came across Karo’s Little Corner‘s latest article and I felt compelled to share. I love her writings and I encourage you to follow along her journey to discovering self-love, self-confidence, and self-esteem. Enough talking, today topic it’s about forgiveness, “Self-Forgiveness”.

“

Forgiveness means that you accept the behavior, you accept what has happened, and you are willing to move past it and move on with your life without ruminating over past events that cannot be changed.

NOLEN-HOEKSEMA S, WISCO BE, LYUBOMIRSKY S. RETHINKING RUMINATION. PERSPECT PSYCHOL SCI. 2008;
What is self-forgiveness?

In other words, self-forgiveness is about accepting that you were wrong. Accepting that what is done is already done and there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s about letting go, accepting that we all make mistakes and forget.

Basically, when you forgive yourself you stop thinking about a past situation and stop blaming yourself for how it turned out. Most of the time, we focus more on blaming ourselves for what someone did to us. “I should’ve seen this coming. Why was I so dumb? How did I fall into the trap? Why I didn’t do this/that instead?” You made a mistake, so what? Self-forgiveness is all about feeling good.

In an article written by Kendra Cherry, I found something interesting called the 4 Rs of self-forgiveness: Responsibility, Remorse, Reparation, and Renewal. I’m going to use them to explain the process of self-forgiveness.

1. Responsibility

What happens when you decide to ask for forgiveness? You accept that you were wrong and you come forward to own your mistake. To forgive yourself you need to accept that you were wrong, let go of the illusion, and take responsibility. Forgiveness is not only about letting go and putting the past behind us, but it’s more about facing what happened and understanding your part in it. If you keep trying to justify what you did, you will never let go.

2. Remorse

Now that you’ve accepted the reality, you will face some negative emotions and feelings: guilt, shame, anger… It’s normal, embrace them. Don’t push them away. Allow yourself to feel those emotions. Cry, scream, run, pray… do anything you can to free yourself from the pain. You will feel like a bad person but understand that everyone can change so why not you. You’re bigger than your emotions.

3. Reparation.

The third step in the self-forgiveness process consists of repairing the damage caused. How would you ask someone to forgive you? You’d probably buy them a gift, cook their favorite dish or just do something nice for them right? Well, why don’t you do it for yourself? When was the last time that you actually did something for yourself? Something to make you feel good? Think about that.

4. Renewal

When you make mistakes, you should always look for ways to prevent yourself from doing the same thing again. That’s why we always ask what have you learned from a bad experience. What were the lessons? Now that you’ve forgiven yourself, how can you grow as a person? Sadly I cannot answer this question for you but I can tell you that a good way to become a new version of you is to understand why you behaved the way that you did.

Source: Karo’s Little Corner

“

Dress @Champagneboutique 

To me, forgiveness is an important treatment for resolving feelings of anger, hurt, and betrayal. Forgiveness therapy is an evidence-based treatment for anger. And one of the most common activities I do during mindset coaching with my clients is the “Letter of Forgiveness” where they get to learn the 4 steps to be taken in order to truly forgive themselves. Today I hope you forgive yourself for whatever you are holding it accountable for so you find peace.

Thanks for stopping by,

XoXo,

*Follow Karo here

Moumous
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Related posts:

How to Build Self-Confidence: : A Journey of Self-Discovery and Growth Confidence From Head to Toe: An A-to-Z Guide on Dressing for Self-Assurance Navigating the End-of-Year Introspection The Power of Grooming: The Foundation of Looking Good

Filed Under: black fashion, fashion, fashion blogger, image consultant, image consulting, life coaching, personal styling, personal stylist, style, style coach, Uncategorized Tagged With: fashion, fashionblog, fashionblogger, image consultant, imageconsultant, mindset, mindsetcoach, personal stylist, personalshopper, stylecoach

Comments

  1. Mawoule says

    February 28, 2022 at 4:12 am

    Hello Lamoumous this article was really helpful. Thank you 🙏

    • Moumous says

      February 28, 2022 at 2:47 pm

      You are welcome dear 🙂

  2. Mica - Away From The Blue says

    March 5, 2022 at 10:55 pm

    These are good tips, thanks for sharing! And good luck with figuring out all the technical aspects of your blog 🙂

    Thanks so much for joining the #WeekdayWearLinkup! Hope that you are having a good weekend 🙂 Another sunny day here thankfully, helping things dry out after the floods!

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Chaque maman a son style… Et cette année, chez Chaque maman a son style… 
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Chocker @luminescence_haiti 
😎 @beloptik 
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NEW BLOGPOST 🚨 🚨 🚨 The woman who sits lik NEW BLOGPOST 🚨 🚨 🚨 The woman who sits like this… has been through things.

She’s walked through fire, in heels and grace.
Now, she doesn’t dress to be seen — she dresses to honor who she’s become….

Check out the full post on the blog. Link in bio or www.lamoumous.com/bio

👜 👝 @luminescence_haiti 
😎 @beloptik 
📍 @do_kay_haiti 

📸 @eddy_p_photography 

Style is soul work.
And I’m here for every woman ready to reclaim her presence, one outfit at a time.

Ready when you are: info@lamoumous.com

#LaMoumousStyle #PowerInPresence #StyleWithDepth #stylecoach #personalshopper #imageconsultant #personalstylist
Chaque maman a son style… Et cette année, chez Chaque maman a son style… 
Et cette année, chez @glamurboutiquehaiti on le célèbre avec panache ✨
Edgy, dramatique, classique, flamboyante ou naturelle — il y a une tenue pour chaque vibe maternelle.

Dis-moi, laquelle te ressemble le plus ?

#FêteDesMères #LaMoumousStyle #PersonalStyling #WardrobeMagic #mothersdaystyle  #stylecoaching #personalshopper #personalstylist
Happy Haitian Flag Day! Mi figue, mi raisin… le Happy Haitian Flag Day!

Mi figue, mi raisin… le cœur en clair-obscur, mais l’âme toujours drapée de rouge et bleu. Nou pote drapo a nan je nou, menm lè tan an lou...
----
Bitter and sweet… my heart walks in shadows and light, but my soul remains draped in red and blue. We carry our flag in our eyes, even when the days feel heavy. 🇭🇹

Wearing the flag not just on me, but within me. Honoring Haiti, always.

Camera @frederickalexis (archives 2021 :-))

#HaitianPride #FlagDay #OurHopeLivesOn
🚨 New Blog Post Alert! 🚨 Power dressing just 🚨 New Blog Post Alert! 🚨 Power dressing just got a denim upgrade, and I’m here for every inch of it.✨

Gone are the days of stiff suits and predictable palettes. The modern woman leads with softness, structure, and undeniable style.

In my latest blog post, I explain why the denim power suit is redefining authority and how you can make it work for your wardrobe, without sacrificing comfort or personality. From brooches to wide-leg pants, this look speaks before you even say a word.

👖💼 Tap the link below to read.

📸 @eddy_p_photography
👜 & brooch @luminescence_haiti
🕶️ @beloptik

#StyleCoach #PowerSuit #DenimOnDenim #personalstylist #personalshopper #LamoumousStyle #imageconsultant
💥💥💥Wrapping up the birthday celebration ( 💥💥💥Wrapping up the birthday celebration (finally... maybe?), I just want to say THANK YOU for the avalanche of love, warm wishes, hugs, calls, surprises, and everything in between. 💛

This birthday apparently started in April and is still going strong — I guess we’re doing birth season now? I’m not mad about it. 😂

To the instigator of this surprise party… I see you 👀. I hate surprises — and Lord & @carlic9 (yes, and you @dgiegie and maybe @foyinthekitchen and @mariemaudnl should!) KNOW it. But you pulled this off in such a thoughtful, me-centered way, I couldn’t help but melt.

And that birthday book of testimonials?? Y’all really said, “let’s ruin her eyeliner today.” 😭 I’m speechless. There won’t be any onions left for @casse_croutebyfoy to survive Wings & Things week. 😅

Grateful. Overflowing. Deeply touched.
Surrounded by beautiful souls and even more beautiful energy.

To friends who become family — I love you more than words can say.

Here’s to love, laughter, and being so, so seen. 💫💕

@mindbodyayiti @gerrie81 @melodiebenjamin @drlaplanche @souk_wellandfit @academie_de_danse_pd @life_thru_my_lenses @lucienphotography @rogi_swim_dream @depestref @anedie__ @wilhelminedouard @med_llah @lapeluca.ht 

Cake toppers @gems_by_joz 

#BirthdayLove #GratitudeOverflowing #SurpriseThatGotMe #ChosenFamily #StillCelebrating #EmotionalAndFed #NoMoreOnionsPlease
No party, no candles — just a quiet moment, a vi No party, no candles — just a quiet moment, a vintage look, and an elevator ride that felt… symbolic.

New blogpost now live: Vintage Style in an Elevator – A Birthday Reflection.

A glimpse into where I am, what I wore, and what this age means to me.

Link in bio 💭

📍 @do_kay_haiti @oge3_haiti 
Chocker @luminescence_haiti 
😎 @beloptik 
💄 @zoulemakeup G-WouJ

📸 @eddy_p_photography 

#stylecoach #personalstylist #lifecoach #imageconsultant

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